Today I’m wandering through emotions of grief. Someone else I know and like has had their name added to my Deception list. It’s not difficult, unfortunately, to get added to the list – but it is difficult to get taken off. In my mind, I catalog those “friends” or associates of mine who I know to be liars, and I place them on my list of deceptive, or potentially deceptive people. This doesn’t mean I cease to like or respect them, but it does mean that they are henceforth unreliable to me. And that’s so sad it causes me to grieve; very much like losing a friend.
You might ask, “What do you mean by ‘liars’”? Now, doesn’t it seem odd that the question would even arise? We all know what liars are, but we routinely discount the “little” lies. Maybe we do this because we have all been guilty of lying at times, and we don’t want to condemn ourselves. Many years ago, in another life, a cop friend of mine told me that we only feel comfortable enforcing the laws we ourselves obey. It’s sad, but most of the time that is true.
I don’t think most of us would be offended by a jaywalker – because we’ve all done that before, but I would be concerned if we discounted murder for the same reason. I think you get my point.
The truth is, there are small lies, big lies and gigantic lies. There are lies that probably don’t affect anyone but us, but in all cases, when we lie we are liars. And if I lie a little, just for convenience, what are the odds I would do so if more were at stake? I think the odds are pretty good, and that’s why I placed this person on my Deception list today. The lie wasn’t big, and it probably really wasn’t important to anyone, but in my eyes it destroyed the integrity of my friend.
And if you haven’t painfully discovered it yet, as I have, once lost, integrity is nearly impossible to regain. How come we so easily place our integrity at risk by using little lies? Why is this habit so natural to human beings?
My friend lied for convenience. The truth, if told, would have been a little harder to state, but not much. I’m sure it seemed easier and more efficient to lie under the circumstances, but at what price?
So, I now have a liar for a friend. It really should grieve me because from now on, I’m always going to question when this person is telling the truth. I also know that once the little-lie hurdle has been crossed, the bigger lies follow. Unchecked, this habit will spill over into the job environment because it becomes part of this person’s character.
I believe that without due vigilance and the willingness to make tough decisions, none of us are any more naturally reliable than my friend. While this incident has been grievous to me, I am using this example to firm up my resolve to maintain my integrity – no matter what.
Do yourself and your friends a favor today – vow to keep your integrity, no matter what the cost. The wisest person in the world once said, “If you are faithful in a little, you will be trusted with much.” In spite of the world system we see all around us, it really doesn’t work the other way around.
John
